1. As soon as you feel you have your house in order and clean - turn around...surely there's another mess happening already somewhere!
2. The calmer Mommy stays the calmer the child stays - the same is true with how upset and frustrated Mommy gets!
3. I take the small things in life - especially with my kids - for granted no fewer than 3,469 times each day! (To my shame!!)
4. The longer you wait for something the harder it gets to wait patiently (ok, so this one is not new to mankind, but waiting for an architect's plans is getting unbearable!)
5. A baby learns very early to whine and cry so his older brother will get yelled at!
6. The more i want to loose weight the more depressed it makes me and the more I eat! (absurd I say!!)
7. Regardless of the number of times you go to the grocery store there will always be days when you can't find anything to make for dinner!
8. Hammer pants are one thing that I pray daily will never come back into style! (that was random!)
9. When you're not looking toys breed!
**EDIT** (PLEASE DISREGARD IF YOU ARE PREGNANT (I KNOW WHAT THE "PREGGIE QUEASIES" CAN DO TO A GIRL!), JUST PLAIN HAVE A WEAK STOMACH OR HAVE NO CHILDREN (OR YOU MAY DECIDE TO NEVER HAVE ANY!!)
10. When your child is sick try to stay far, far away and do yourself and other children a favor and keep them far away too or they will have a much closer encounter with said sick child than anyone ever wants to experience (ie vomit in their mouth!!) and you may loose your lunch in the process!! Not to mention you now have multiple children to console, bathe and wash their mouths out with soap (just kidding! i remember what that was like and vow never to subject my kids to that!!)
11. When vomit is present in your house, no amount of scrubbing, bathing, laundry, etc will totally remove the smell. I swear it's not that it's still in my house, but in either my nose or brain and I can't escape it! I now have the cleanest floors on the block since they have been scrubbed more times in the last 24 hours than in the past month. Although maybe that's just saying something about my housework or lack thereof! =)
12. Life is full of essential decisions. One of them being, when you have sick children you need to take a moral stand on how to dress their beds (and yours too if they're the sharing type and allow you the joy of vomit in your sheets as well!) The question is whether to put a mattress pad on in hopes of sparing your mattress or leave it off in hopes of having less laundry which in some cases will be pointless since after a night full of puke you'll have multiple loads to do anyway!!
Oh, and lest I appear to be a totally heartless friend I must offer the following....
13. Take a good grammar class so as not to have run-on sentences like me in #'s 10 and 12!!
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